I would like to share the time I made Aretha Franklin’s Waffles of Insane Greatness. Bet you did not know Aretha Franklin had a waffle recipe. Well, neither does Google. And if you were to search for it, you would not find it. Why? Because there is no such recipe.
I had misread the title. It is Aretha FRANKENSTEIN’S Waffles of Insane Greatness. Of course, I realized this AFTER I had prattled on and on about making an Aretha Franklin recipe. So there was no way I was going to tell anybody (particularly my husband) I had misread the title.
Needless to say, I was looking forward to making these waffles. With a name like Waffles of Insane Greatness, it had to be good. Right?
The recipe itself seemed simple. It was a pretty standard waffle recipe. Except for the fact, the batter needed to rest for thirty minutes. This meant either I get up thirty minutes earlier so we could eat breakfast on time. Or I wake up normal time and we all eat breakfast thirty minutes later.
I went to bed intending on getting up early. Unfortunately, the me that woke up decided to sleep in and rise up the normal time. It was Sunday after all.
How not to make the recipe
Overall, it was such an easy recipe to prep that I went about happily dumping ingredients into my mixing bowl. At the time, I was more focused on my conversation with my daughter. All of a sudden an alarm bell goes off in my head.
I had just dumped 1 cup of sugar into my mixing bowl. 1 cup of sugar, my brain asked?! Really?! I pulled away from my convo with my daughter and re-read the recipe. Sure enough, it was 1 teaspoon of sugar. One TEASPOON! I had put in the equivalent of FORTY-EIGHT teaspoons!!!
I frantically tried to scoop out as much of the sugar as I could, only managing to remove about 1/8 cup. However, the biggest mistake I made was not putting in too much sugar. But the fact I told my family about my mistake.
One child makes the comment that he can see sugar granules on the cooked waffles. That’s right. He can see the minuscule sugar granules glistening on the waffle surface, like tiny flecks of sparkly glitter. Of course, now everyone can see sugar granules on their waffles.
This same child (who takes after his father) takes one bite and can’t eat anymore because it’s too sugary. This is the child who has eaten Laffy Taffy, Jelly Beans, Starbursts and Milk Duds at one sitting. Yet these waffles were too sugary for him! Once again, after he makes this comment, everyone else agrees.
In the end, my family could only eat the waffles if they were wrapped around a sausage link.
What have I learned?
Firstly, there is more than one person named Aretha. And not all Aretha’s have the last name of Franklin, even if the first five letters are the same.
Secondly, do not talk to your daughter when making a new recipe. Otherwise, waffles of insane greatness might turn into waffles of insane sweetness.
Thirdly, if you have a cooking fail do not share that information with anybody. Especially with the ones who are about to eat that fail.