There are some skills we are born with and others we need to strengthen. For example, my uncle can create anything. He doesn’t need to read any How To books or watch YouTube videos. Give him a pile of scraps and his brain can put it together and make something useful and beautiful.
Now I do have a bit of that creative bug in me but not to that degree. There are times I can look at a pile of scrap and see something more. Other times though, I only see it as a pile of rubbish waiting to be thrown out.
So it’s a skill that’s not as defined in me as it is in my uncle. However, if I take the time to strengthen it perhaps I can come a little bit farther than where I am now. And this is what Mary Ann is learning on her journey.
One of the issues she dealt with was the fact M’s capabilities masked his struggles. This made it difficult for her to convince other people M was struggling. Had he had developmental or physical delays, it would’ve been easier to prove his disability. Instead, Mary Ann was forced to rely on a skill she believed she didn’t have.
One of the hardest decisions
In fact, the decision to get M tested required courage that didn’t come naturally to her. It was hard for her to stand up and advocate for herself. Her desire is to avoid confrontation. She’d rather live with the consequence rather than advocate. And it’s not because she doesn’t want to but rather she doesn’t believe she has the ability to be an effective advocate.
It was definitely a struggle in the years prior to getting M tested. And if she could go back in time and tell her younger self anything, it would be that the journey is going to require a lot more courage than she thinks she has. In fact, it will be difficult. There will be times when she’s going to doubt herself and think she doesn’t have it in her. But not to worry, because she does and she will find the strength.
Operating out of our comfort zone
This is true for all our journeys. It will be one of the most challenging paths we’ve ever taken. It will push us out of our comfort zone and stretch us beyond our wildest imagination. It will be frightening. For Mary Ann, learning to stand up and advocate was like torture. It was out of character for her. So much so, that every time she took a step in that direction, she says it was like she was ‘coming out of her skin’.
However, not being born with a capability doesn’t have to be a deterrent. Instead, Mary Ann says all we need to do is focus on doing the next right thing.
Putting one foot in front of the other
She tells the story of a woman who once asked Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis, how to live. And the crux of his message can be summed up in the following quote.
“But if you want to go your individual way, it is the way you make for yourself, which is never prescribed, which you do not know in advance, and which simply comes into being of itself when you put one foot in front of the other. If you always do the next thing that needs to be done, you will go most safely and sure-footedly along the path prescribed by your unconscious.” (italics mine)
Essentially, he says there is no magical formula. Instead, the secret to living is always doing the next right thing. Simply taking the very next step, and the next step after that until we reach at our destination.
Focusing on the next step
Martin Luther King puts it this way “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
There is no doubt there will be times when will feel we don’t have the skills to accomplish the task in front of us. When we are marred by self-doubt and trapped in our inadequacies. At one point Mary Ann even asked God why He would put her in such a position when He knew she didn’t have it in her.
During those moments, it’s important to remember we don’t need to have it all figured out. We just need to take the next step. Just do the next right thing. If we recall this simple rule, it will help us reach our goals even if we feel ill-equipped. Doing this is how Mary Ann turned her weakness into a triumph.
Advocating still doesn’t come easy for her but she’s so much farther now than where she was when she started the journey and it all began with doing the next right thing.
In the next post, Mary Ann will share another lesson God has been teaching her.