When the neonatologist told my husband and I our unborn baby may have a disability, we were shocked. It was supposed to be a routine ultrasound appointment. That was it. Neither of us had any inkling it would be anything other than the first time we got to see the baby. So I was very enthusiastic and happy when we arrived at the ultrasound appointment. Only to be blindsided by the neonatologist’s unexpected news. I remember leaving the appointment feeling somber…worn and so much older than I arrived.
Worse still, I had to walk through the waiting room to exit. The waiting room filled with happy pregnant moms all anxious to get glimpses of their baby. An hour ago, I was one of those moms. Now, I would’ve gladly switched places with any one of them. Just to rewind and do the moment over again. This time hoping for a different outcome.
I couldn’t even look their way, afraid I might burst into tears. I was trying to hold it all together, which was very hard to do with all the pregnancy hormones raging through me.
The day my world collapsed
It felt like my world collapsed. The biggest concern I had when I arrived for the ultrasound appointment was what I was going to eat for lunch. Now it seemed so trivial. It was so absurd to think this was ever a concern.
I was trying to make sense of what I was told. My husband and I didn’t even know what to say to each other. Since we were both trying to process what we heard.
As I exited the building, everything seemed so different to me. So strange. Even the air felt heavier. As if I stumbled through a portal and entered an alternate universe. The world I knew vanished. This new one was shrouded in shades of gray. I didn’t like it. I wanted to go back to the world I knew. The happy world, where my biggest concern was what I was going to eat for lunch. But the portal was closed. I could never go back to that world.
My lifeline
I wanted to run away…anywhere. As long as I could escape the pain. But it followed me wherever I went. I was trapped…lost. Drowning in my sorrow. Definitely feeling sorry for myself. What helped me get through this season was my community. I’m so thankful to God for the godly men and women who were in my life. They came alongside me and helped me each step of the way. Looking back, I know without their encouragement and support, it would’ve been so much harder.
So I’m thankful to all my friends, near and far who’ve helped me weather that time. I’m thankful to God who knew just the kind of people I needed when I needed them. Because He brought them into my life at just the right time. They anchored me with their prayers, kind words and thoughtfulness. They also taught me how to serve. I’m so thankful to all those amazing people.
Final thoughts
We were meant to do life together. Instead of struggling alone.
If you’re going through a difficult time, look around and see who God has brought into your life to help you weather your storms. It could be kind words from a stranger, baked goods from a friend or a text message from someone you haven’t heard in years. But having a group of people in your life who support and encourage you is important. It makes cherishing your normal easier.
Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Philippians 1:3