Many years ago there was a video of a dad playing a prank on his kids. He tells his son and daughter they would each get to open one Christmas present early since they were good. Both kids are excited. The little girl was the first to open her present which turned out to be an onion. The little boy unwraps his to find a banana.
The remarkable part of the video was the kid’s reactions to their gifts. They didn’t cry, get upset or hurl anything across the room. Instead, they were good-natured and even thanked their father (see clip).
It’s a brilliant example of gratitude.
Defining gratitude
I like to define gratitude as being grateful with a ‘tude. In my house, if someone’s giving me an attitude, I call it a ‘tude – an expression I borrowed from author and motivational speaker, Patsy Clairmont. I see gratitude that way, it’s being willful, deliberate and in your face grateful. In other words, grateful with a ‘tude.
Research suggests there are many benefits to practicing gratitude. Two of which are, it improves physical and psychological health. According to Psychology Today multiple studies showed that gratitude reduced negative emotions and increased happiness.
Gratitude is about being happy with what we have, not what we wish we had. I love this quote from Marshall Goldsmith’s book Triggers. He writes:
“We think our source of happiness is “out there” (in our job, in more money, in a better environment) but we usually find it “in here” – when we quit waiting for someone or something else to bring us joy and take responsibility for locating it ourselves. We find happiness where we are.”
It’s a great way to define gratitude: being thankful for what we have and where we are. Unfortunately, it doesn’t grow automatically, it needs to be nurtured daily. One of the ways I’ve been cultivating gratitude is by adjusting my mindset. And it’s simple to do, it only takes a few minutes and requires a pen and paper.
How I cultivate gratitude
- Starting a gratitude journal. I highly recommend journaling because there are therapeutic benefits to writing. There’s a mind and body connection that doesn’t exist with typing. That being said, I don’t actually use a journal. I use a three-ring binder, so I can keep adding blank pages instead of buying new journals all the time. It also puts my kid’s old school binders to good use.
- Putting everything I need in the same spot, all the time. I keep the journal and pen in a convenient and easily accessible place. And I make sure to return it to the same spot after I’m done. Doing so means I know where it is at all times and it’s also a visual reminder. Like the string people used to tie around their finger to help them remember, every time I glance towards that area, it reminds me of my gratitude time.
- Scheduling time for it. I make time to do it. I’ve done it in the morning and the evening. It all depends on my schedule. Lately, it’s been mornings. It takes me roughly 5 minutes, sometimes a bit more if I’m especially grateful and sometimes less when I’m rather succinct.
- Keeping journey entries doable. I keep it very simple and use a template for my entries – see picture below.
- I date the page – it’s always important to date your entries.
- Then I write the following heading: “Today I am grateful for”. Underneath, I list out 5 things I’m grateful for. You can list as many as you want but I’ve found 5 to be the sweet spot.
- I skip a line or two, write my second heading: “Today I remember that” and then list 5 affirmations about myself. Cultivating gratitude extends to ourselves as well. We must remind ourselves who we are and what we’re capable of.
- Generally, I end with scripture, a short prayer or even a grateful thought.
What I’m learning
I try to do this every day. Interestingly, even though all my journal entries are formatted the same, what I’m thankful for changes – although family is always on there. I’ve found setting aside time to focus on my blessings and strengths cultivates a heart of gratitude. This in turn makes me more happy, peaceful and content.
Give it a try and let me know what you think.