When the doctor first told us (my husband and I) that our unborn child may have a disability, of the myriad of thoughts racing through my head, the loudest was: I don’t think I can be the parent of a child with a disability. That required someone of an entirely different caliber than me. What did I know about disability? Nothing. I felt like I was hired for a job I didn’t interview for and had no experience in.
Surely it was a mistake! My inexperience and lack of knowledge should show that I’m not remotely qualified or trained to be the parent of a child with a disability. Someone at HR must have accidentally put my name on another candidate’s job. How else could you explain it? Except, now everyone’s looking at me to do a job I never applied for.
You are enough
It’s a reoccurring sentiment in other moms’ stories as well. We’re thrust into a situation we know nothing about feeling ill-equipped and unprepared. But in 25 years of being on this journey and raising an individual with a disability, one lesson I’ve learned is you’ll rise to the call. I’ve witnessed how God has given me the strength, wisdom and courage to meet every challenge that has come my way. And I’ve had my fair share.
- I’ve wrestled with God, demanding to know why we need to go through yet another obstacle. Didn’t we already have enough on our plates?
- I’ve been in situations so over my head, I had absolutely no idea what the next step was going to be.
- Sometimes I knew exactly what the next step was but I didn’t know how to start.
- Other times I’ve just been worn out. Not physical fatigue – although I’ve had plenty of those as well – it was burnout from being in the battle for so long without respite. It’s a soul weariness, the kind of fatigue that goes so deep it makes the soul ache.
Yet through it all, I’ve seen God’s faithfulness.
Interestingly, I didn’t emerge from any of these circumstances broken, battered or bruised. On the contrary, I’ve become stronger and more resilient after going through them.
What I’ve learned
I’m definitely not the same person I was when I started this parenting journey. Each obstacle I’ve overcome, each crisis of faith I’ve wrestled with and each storm I’ve weathered has built my faith.
The battles I fought were an opportunity not only to build stamina but also to learn a little bit more about myself. And all the ways God has equipped and trained me for this task. That’s why I can say with confidence you don’t need to fear uncertainty or the future. Most importantly, you don’t need to fear being the parent of a child with a disability. God’s already equipped you with everything you need to accomplish the tasks He’s assigned you. You are His masterpiece.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT