Sometimes we can make great plans with the best of intentions and still mess up. Kind of like the time what I thought was a good idea for my son, Caleb turned out to be a huge mistake.
Caleb’s preschool success
When Caleb was three we enrolled him in the preschool program of our local school district. It was a fully integrated classroom containing kids with and without disabilities. It was a great program and Caleb thrived! His speech and language improved and it blew our minds how quickly he was picking up new skills. It seemed like everyday he came home doing something he couldn’t do before.
My options
So three years later when he graduated from preschool, I was hoping our school district would have a similar program at the elementary school level; they didn’t. Instead, they presented us with two different types of classrooms to choose from.
The first was a special education (special ed) classroom in a special education school. This meant all the kids who attended the school had disabilities. I had a chance to visit the school and it was great; they had specialized classrooms, equipment, and even an indoor, heated pool. The biggest drawback is that Caleb would have no interaction with typical peers.
The second was a special ed classroom in a public school. This time, although all the kids in the class had disabilities, they also had opportunities to interact with typical peers during lunch, special assemblies, recess, in the hallways, etc. I liked the idea, but they only had one such classroom in my district and it wouldn’t have been the best fit for Caleb.
My decision
After considering both options, I choose neither and petitioned the district to put him in a regular education (regular ed) classroom.
I strongly believed Caleb would benefit from typical peer interactions. They seemed to be the best role models for him based on his preschool success. Granted, I knew he couldn’t be in regular ed throughout his entire elementary school years, but it seemed too soon to put him in special ed in kindergarten. I wanted to give Caleb every opportunity to continue the progress he was making.
Caleb’s placement
The school finally agreed and placed Caleb in a regular ed kindergarten with supports. Unfortunately, the growth I expected didn’t materialize. Caleb showed very little to no progress.
And by the second half of kindergarten and all throughout first grade, the gap between his abilities and his classmates kept widening until it was as big as the Grand Canyon.
He was so far behind, he spent more time outside the classroom with his special ed teacher than inside it. The only evidence he was even in the class was an empty desk with his name and picture on it. It was glaringly obvious that neither the regular ed classroom nor the teacher was equipped to teach Caleb.
Admitting my mistake
I knew I messed up. Putting Caleb in a regular ed classroom even for kindergarten, was a mistake.
I sometimes wonder if my resolution to keep Caleb in regular ed had more to do with me than him. I think a part of me hoped it may help him overcome some of his challenges and I didn’t want to let go of that dream. Of course, I can only see that now in hindsight. At the time, all I knew was the plans I made (and fought hard for) didn’t work.
So we pulled Caleb out of regular ed and placed him in a special ed class in a public school.
Turning them into good
Turns out, my mistake was a blessing in disguise. Caleb wound up going to his perfect classroom. It didn’t exist when I was looking at classrooms. It was only created the year before we pulled him out of regular ed.
So God turned my mistake into one of the best educational placements Caleb could ever have and I am grateful.
All that to say, don’t be discouraged when plans don’t work out as expected. First, they are great opportunities for personal growth and learning. Second, God can make something good out of any of our mistakes.