After the birth of my second child (my daughter), I went through an adjustment period. I had to figure out how to do everything I was already doing plus all the new responsibilities another baby brings, all while dealing with postpartum. Let’s just say, my days were pretty full and most of it revolved around my children’s schedules.
So the weeks immediately after my daughter’s birth were chaotic. And try as I may, I couldn’t seem to get ahead of the game. It seemed like I was always playing catch-up…but never really getting caught up. And by the end of the day, I had no energy left to do anything but sleep.
My nemesis
Worse yet, it felt like I was always starting something but never completing it. As a general rule, if a chore couldn’t be completed in 15 minutes (or less), then I was bound to get interrupted by a feeding…a diaper change…a school drop-off or pick-up, etc. It was guaranteed there were always two different tasks vying for my attention and I couldn’t get them to cooperate with each other. Eventually, my life was filled with half-done chores scattered everywhere like toys that I kept tripping over.
And where I felt this frustration the most was the laundry. It was endless! And I could never get ahead of it. It was my nemesis, taunting me at every turn.
The vicious cycle
Sometimes I would put the clothes in the washing machine, only to forget about it due to the craziness of the day. Other times, I would successfully remove the clothes from the washing machine into the dryer, only to leave them there abandoned and forgotten.
And on really productive days, I would manage to take it one step further by taking the clothes out of the dryer and placing them in the laundry basket. Sadly, that’s where they would sit like beautifully wrapped presents waiting to be handed out. And the cycle kept going until there were more clean clothes sitting in laundry baskets WAITING to be put away than were actually BEING put away.
One day, I was so overwhelmed I complained to my husband who shared a profound piece of advice that has motivated me ever since.
My husband’s advice
He said, “Just put it away.”
I’ve got to admit, at first, that comment struck me as insensitive. It definitely was not the empathetic response I was expecting.
Yet at the same time, I couldn’t refute the sheer brilliance of that statement. I was dumbfounded. He was so right! The simplicity of the solution was shocking. I had spent so much time (not to mention mental energy) dreading the thought of putting the clothes away, that it became a bigger problem than it actually was. Each time I didn’t put the clothes away, my anxiety grew. Putting laundry away became this cosmic chore that would kill brain cells and take hours to complete, which wasn’t true. I had made the proverbial mistake of making a mountain out of a molehill.
What I’ve learned
Turns out a little perspective change was what I needed to tackle the laundry and get my life back in order.
My husband’s advice has become my mantra. Even now, when I feel overwhelmed by what seems like a gargantuan feat, I take a deep breath, get my mind right, and only think about what needs to be done right now: Nothing else. I focus on just putting it away, one step at a time until the task is done. It’s so much better than getting overwhelmed and allowing anxiety to take over and then doing nothing.
My perspective change worked beautifully and that was the last time laundry was my nemesis. I’m curious to know what positive self-talk motivates you when you’re feeling overwhelmed?