Hagar is such a tragic figure. She’s a passive player in the game of life and not the ‘take-charge and save-the-day’ type. I’d call her the anti-hero. For those unfamiliar with Hagar, her story is found in the Bible in Gen 16 and Gen 21:8-21.
In a nutshell, Hagar was Sarah’s servant – probably given by Pharoah when Abraham and Sarah were in Egypt. The first time we hear of her is when Sarah proposes to Abraham that he try and have a child with Hagar. I’m not sure if she had a choice in the matter…probably not. This was a decision made for her.
But when she finds out she’s pregnant with Abraham’s child, she gets a big head. And why not? She was pregnant, a condition that her mistress couldn’t achieve. But Sarah wasn’t going to allow Hagar to usurp her. She puts Hagar in her place and treats her so harshly that Hagar runs away – not the wisest decision for a pregnant woman to make. But this is probably the first decision she makes for herself. The angel finds her in the wilderness and tells her to lose the attitude and go back to Sarah, and she does.
Attitudes seemed to have adjusted and Hagar gives birth to a son, Ishmael. Things are uneventful for the next several years until the day after Isaac, Abraham and Sarah’s son, is weaned. It’s at this time that Hagar and Ishmael get kicked out of the house. Bear in mind this is the place where Ishmael was born and the only home he has ever known.
In an instant, Hagar’s life changes. The plans she had for her son and herself were stripped away. Shocked and in disbelief she goes back to the wilderness and wonders aimlessly until all her resources run dry. On the brink of losing everything, she resigns herself to her fate and waits for the inevitable, death. Once again a passive player in the game of life.
Hagar’s story is relatable. We may not have gone through what she did but we have all found ourselves in unexpected and unwanted situations. Having a child with a disability isn’t a planned event in anyone’s life. It was definitely not something I wanted for myself or my son. Much like Hagar, I found myself evicted from the future I had planned. And very much like her, I wandered aimlessly trying to make sense of it.
It’s not easy to make plans for an uncertain future. Neither is it easy to know which direction to take when you don’t know where you are going. But is there more to it than that? Is it possible we can’t make plans because we’re having a hard time letting go of the way it should’ve been to embrace what is? Grief can cloud our vision and make it hard to see. Hagar was so lost in her misery, that she failed to see a well full of water. In her aimless wandering, she didn’t see the very thing that would save her and her son, until God opened her eyes.
Hope exists. It didn’t go anywhere. It’s where it always has been. But sometimes grief clouds our vision and we fail to see it, and we need God to open our eyes.
What I’ve Learned
Sometimes we will experience unexpected or unwanted situations. For Hagar, it was getting kicked out of the only home her son Ishmael had ever known. For me, it was getting the news my baby may have a disability. This was not our plan but it’s also not the end of our story.
Being forced out of the place we’d thought we’d be, doesn’t mean we have to wander aimlessly grieving the life we should’ve had. Hope isn’t dead. It’s still here and all we need to do is to ask God to open our eyes to see it.