Doctor visits are the norm for any parent who has a child with a disability. And more often than not, it’s multiple doctors. I’ve had several moms share their frustrations and I wanted to know what we could do to make this important relationship work better. So I sat down and talked to a doctor friend of mine and asked her opinion on what we as parents can do to ensure we have a positive working relationship.
These are some of the tips she shared.
Don’t keep switching doctors
Gone are the days when a doctor knew an entire family history because they’ve been taking care of the family for generations. People are more transient and don’t have the same doctor all their life. That’s why it’s essential to take time to build a relationship with the doctor. Unfortunately, that can’t happen if we keep switching doctors, especially the primary. Instead, foster the relationship and allow it to grow. This not only builds trust but also allows the doctor to know your child better.
Have a purpose for all the appointments
Know what you want to accomplish when you make an appointment. Is your child sick? What question would you like the doctor to answer? Do you have concerns about something else? What would you like the doctor to do? Take a moment to think about the purpose of the visit and what information you want to leave the visit with and then ask those questions.
Share all the symptoms
Share ALL the symptoms, even if it doesn’t seem related, it could all be relevant.
Document everything
If there are issues you are concerned about, take pictures or better yet, a video. Have something to show your doctor other than an explanation. Sometimes, by the time the appointment rolls around, the symptoms have disappeared and the doctor has nothing to see.
Keep your doctor updated
Share everything with your doctor. The more they are kept in the loop, the better care they can provide. Don’t assume they will know it. If your child is seeing multiple specialists, update your child’s pediatrician about the visits. Even though the specialist will more than likely send their report, it’s good for the doctor to have your synopsis of the visit as well. This also applies to any treatments the doctor recommends, update them on the progress even if it was successful.
Be persistent
Don’t be afraid to keep expressing your concerns especially if the issue hasn’t been resolved or if the treatment didn’t resolve the problem. Bring it up again. Don’t be afraid to keep expressing your concerns until you get an answer.
Be honest
If the doctor is recommending a course of action that makes you nervous, share your concerns. Be honest about your fears instead of dismissing their recommendation or finding another doctor. Instead, be truthful and respectfully share your feelings. Start sentences with “I feel…” or “I’m concerned…” Ask about side effects and alternative treatments. You can even ask what they would do in your situation. Or why they would choose this treatment over others.
Be mindful of the appointment time
There are several patients doctors see in one day and they need to make sure each one gets enough time. Taking more time than is allotted for the appointment is not being considerate of their time or the other patients who are waiting. If you need more time, talk to the person making the appointment and let them know.
Be gracious
Doctors have a rigid structure they have to work under. They have insurance, hospital or clinic protocols they need to follow. They can’t jump ahead to step 4 without going through steps 1, 2 and 3 first. So extend a little grace, they’re not trying to make your life miserable.
Putting into practice some of these tips can go a long way in maintaining a positive relationship with your child’s medical provider. Give it a try and let me know what you think.