I remember sitting in the cold, sterile consulting room, holding tightly to the ultrasound picture. I had this crazy desire to cover the picture with my hand as if by doing so, I could somehow prevent my unborn baby from hearing what the doctor was saying. Because what he was saying was a life I had never imagined for the baby I was carrying.
I spent the majority of the time trying not to cry and pretending very hard to be unfazed by the grim picture the doctor was painting. I was secretly hoping it was all a dream and I would soon wake up and find myself in bed. But that didn’t happen. This was real.
The chance my unborn baby could be born with a disability was so unfathomable. We had no risk factors, my husband and I were both young and healthy. Neither of us had any family history of babies born with disabilities. In fact, I did not know many families who had children with disabilities. Every pregnant woman I’ve ever known delivered a neurotypical child. Growing up, in my circle of childhood friends there was only one who had a disability.
So the doctor’s prognosis was very shocking, to say the least. And contrary to how I was acting in the consulting room, it affected me greatly. I struggled with it both emotionally and spiritually and that’s what this blog is about. To openly share the pain of coming to terms with our child’s diagnosis and the challenges of raising a child with a disability.
What have I learned?
It’s about our emotional, mental and spiritual health. I believe we are so much stronger when we work together rather than struggling alone. My hope is to bring together a group of women who support, encourage and help each other. The ideas and theories presented in this blog are from my own experiences and lessons I’ve learned in the 25 years I’ve been a mom to a son with a disability. You will get to know all about him in future posts. For now welcome, as we journey together to live in freedom.